Valentine's Day Event 2012/Quotes

Overview
This is a quote guide for the text seen during Valentine's Day Event 2K12.

2012 Gaia NPCs
What NPCs say when Gaians sent them Valentine cards.

Returned replies with Photo:


 * Cupid: To my dearest (Username), / HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. / XOXO, / C/O Cupid
 * Generically done by Anonymous PMs


 * Brennivin: Hugsa um þig!
 * Cresento: Please do not take this card as an excuse to talk to me.
 * Edmund: Please accept my warmest romantic regards.
 * Ian and Rufus: Please, no chocolates! Rufus is allergic!
 * Liam: Roses are red, violets are blue. My abs are sick, and so are you.
 * Moira: Even bad girls can have soft hearts. XOXO
 * Nicolae: Who loves ya, sweetheart?
 * Rina: I'm up to my ears in heart-shaped cookies and I LOVE IT!
 * Ruby: Be glad for the people who make every day special, like my Peyo!
 * Sam: Hope your V-Day's hotter than a muscle car with a broken radiator!
 * Sasha: Thanks for the card! You're, like, a TOTAL sweetie!
 * Vanessa: Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for noticing my INNER beauty.

Envelopes


 * Carl: (Your test results have come in: Carl has given you something much more special than love.)
 * Diedrich: Did you know that a Grunny's romance gland is six times the size of a person's? It is true! Well, goodbye! Call me! Bye!
 * Gambino's Memorial: "We regret to inform you that Mr. Gambino is deceased. All romantic business will be forwarded to his son and heir, Gino Gambino, who will execute it at his convenience."
 * Stein: (Stein has returned your valentine unopened.)

2012 - [NPC] Diedrich
Love Hotline Quotes: Diedrich

''Need some love advice? Ask Diedrich! This dude knows his stuff.''[sic]

After receiving a response, Gaians could click "I need more advice."


 * A good "red flag" to watch out for is if your date has a prior history of pressing charges against you specifically.


 * Always wear shoes you can run in. Just in case. This is not just for dates, but for everyday life.


 * Anxiety about dating? Ask your doctor to put you under full general anesthesia for the duration of the date.


 * Be considerate and open doors for your date. They'll be pleasantly surprised when they wake up.


 * Be sure to maintain eye contact as much as possible. At least 30% of the time spent on dates should consist of solid eyeball-to-eyeball touching.


 * Being mysterious makes you attractive! Try cultivating an interesting tic, or laughing at things that aren't there.


 * Compliment your date on his or her laughter by comparing it to the beautiful cry of the duck.


 * Compliment your date on how attractive they look. If they don't look attractive, HOLD NOTHING BACK!


 * Confidence is important. Show you are the leader of the pack by tying lots of little dogs to your belt to drag behind you.


 * Destruction derbies can be romantic. Point to two of the cars slamming together and liken it to your hearts, but change the subject when the cars start smoking.


 * Display your gifts for resourcefulness by retrieving any edible scraps from your date's garbage.


 * Don't abandon your date-- always ask if they would like to accompany you to the bathroom.


 * Don't use any corny pick-up lines, such as: "Do you distribute any coupons? I feel like I should be getting those clothes half off."


 * Etiquette tip: it's considered polite to look up from your phone at least twice during dates.


 * Even if it's early in your relationship, don't be afraid to get the name of your partner tattooed on your body. If they break your heart, you can always write "sucks" underneath it.


 * Everybody's favorite subject is themselves. Prepare a full surveillance dossier on your date!


 * Everyone enjoys a good sense of humor, so prepare for your date by coming up with plenty of cruel taunts and stinging ethnic barbs.


 * Figure out your best facial feature and accentuate it with lots of glittery lipstick.


 * Forgot to bring a gift? Your date's couch is probably full of change. Grab it when they leave the room and come up flush as an oil tycoon!


 * Get your date to confide in you by implying you are a lawyer and are constantly under attorney-client privilege. (If you are a lawyer like me, don't do this. You could get in BIG trouble).


 * If you are concerned about rude waitstaff ruining a high pressure date, tell the restaurant that your partner has a terminal illness to ensure great service.


 * If you don't have good coordination, you can dance just by moving the parts of your face along with the music.


 * If you feel your romantic partner is becoming distant, leave derogatory graffitti in public places to make sure they don't have any other options.


 * If you happen to shatter any backboards this Valentine's Day, try to contort your body into a heart shape as the glass fragments rain down on you. When you get up, the beautiful heart shape left behind will be an unmistakable message to your lover.


 * It's important your date gets along with your friends, so play it safe by only dating your friends' current partners.


 * Loud, pulsing music naturally builds arousal, but if that's not available then rhythmic yelling works just as well.


 * Make your date the center of attention-- tell the waitstaff it's your date's birthday, then leave when everyone starts singing.


 * Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Always have a few in your pockets.


 * People are attracted to interesting and accomplished people. That's why it's important to be a good liar.


 * People want mates who can provide everything they need. On your first date, bring along a tank of oxygen, a carton of salt, a few gallons of water and a tent.


 * Preparing a romantic meal for your date is always a good gesture, but don't mess up your clothes and get all sweaty running around your neighborhood trying to tackle a goose. Just go to the store! (A policeman helped me out with this one.)


 * Prior to a romantic ostrich ride together, consider having a crafty date night where you decorate each other's protective facemasks. (Ostriches can turn their heads around and are likely to peck at their rider's face and neck.)


 * Sex pheromones are your #1 tool for attracting the opposite sex. Load up by rubbing against unwashed animals. (Hint: you can find them at the pet store).


 * Showering washes away your natural pheromones, which are vital to attracting mates. I prefer a nice dust bath!


 * There is a popular rumor that you can do whatever crimes you want on Leap Day and the cops can't arrest you. It's not true. Just take your partner on a date. Attempt no crime sprees.


 * To find out your date's likes and dislikes, tail them for a day or two. You can learn the most about a person by watching them when they sleep.


 * Want to be tied to your date forever by the legal system? Make them complicit in a crime.


 * Watch out for relationship red flags. They can be found by rummaging through your date's flag collection.


 * Wear a white coat and dispense medical advice to meet interesting and vulnerable people.


 * You don't want to be one of those annoying people who asks the same question twice, so after each date record any new information in your sprawling "Date Facts" spreadsheet.