Gaiapedia:Sandbox/Rordan Gamsey

Rordan Gamsey is a Gaia NPC introduced on December 12, 2014.

Rordan Gamsey name is a parody on Gordon Ramsay, a Scottish born British chef and restaurateur. Ramsay is known for presenting TV programmes about competitive cookery and food.

Quotes

 * Buttercup Cafe? I assume it's called that because Rina pours literal cups of butter all over everything she serves to make it more palatable for you lot. Not a single refined taste bud in all of Gaia, is there?
 * C'mon guys, I expected betta'
 * Cover the entire surface! The whole thing! Are you painting the Mona Lisa or something? Don't be so precise. You're not an artist, you're just a punk with a graffiti can, writing 'I want to be a terrible chef' across a delicious meal. Get with the program! You have potential, so don't waste it.
 * Did you deglaze the pan? You remembered that, right? I knew you would! Now if only you could teach that to that dense pastry-mangling pinhead I'm trying to teach!
 * Firm, yet chewy! Like biting right through a nice strip of Elk flesh, but in the form of a floppy carbo-loaded masterpiece. Are you taking notes?
 * Get on with it will you
 * Get out, just ...just get out ...OUT!
 * I'd imagine you have all the skill and wit to craft a soup that is actually too dry. I have never had so little faith in another human being.
 * I've had some terrible desserts in my time, but this one takes the cake! Unlike me, who won't be taking even a single bite of this disgrace of a baking project.
 * It's an art to cook, that's for certain. But you must be some sort of artist, because despite looking as though you've been recently souffled (What is that garish outfit?) you've actually managed to impress me with your knowledge of fine dining. Carry on.
 * I was under the impression that a cookie is supposed to be a delicious, round, baked confection containing sugar and love. NOT a gob of over-floured, sweet garbage containing weakness and health hazards! Where did this cookie go so wrong? Where did your LIFE go so wrong?
 * I would hesitate to let any of my apprentices run a warm bath by themselves, let alone a restaurant. Not yet, at least.
 * I wouldn't serve your food to my dog
 * Keep in mind that adding salt to a boiling pot will make it boil a bit faster, but not enough to matter. The important part is that it adds some flavor to the pasta. Yours, in particular, is bland. You, in particular, are bland. ....BLAND!
 * Knead? What YOU knead are some more lessons. But there's hope for you yet! / I agree! It's absolutely delicious. I couldn't do a better job myself. Well, I could of course, but you understand the turn of phrase.
 * Oh, Come on!
 * RAAWW! Look at it, it's still breathing! If there were such a thing as sushi that is too raw, you have actually achieved it. Touch it, just touch it. Everyone, a round of applause for a failure that has failed so deeply that it's actually impressive. ...Look at it, it's flopping away ...Oh my God, GO GET IT!
 * RINA! Pick up the pace! What are you even doing in this industry? You think just because you have your own little cafe, you're a chef? You're a joke, that's what you are! You have used so much garlic in this that the entire Von Helson family tree has retreated in horror.
 * Service please!
 * The quality of your ingredients definitely affects the quality of your cooking, but that's hardly of note when what you're cooking is already rubbish. 'All natural' dirt and trash is still dirt and trash, when you get right down to it.
 * touch it, all of you touch it, it's RAAWW!! Get out, come here, look at me ...GET OUT!
 * What are you doing?
 * What came first, the chicken or the egg? It hardly matters, because you can't cook either one without scorching the entire meal! You are absolute rubbish!
 * You, you, hey you, yeah you, this is cooked beautifully, yeah?
 * You, you, you, and you, OUT!
 * You ...you ...hey you, yeah you ...come here! LOOK AT IT!
 * You call this cooking? I call it a terrible joke! You couldn't cook your way out of a paper bag. In fact, you would probably try to serve the bag to your guests! / Using a microwave to cook is the equivalent of hiring a struggling fourth grader to write your grad school thesis. I suppose you use a lightbulb and some tin foil to make cookies and cakes too?