Event Guide: Xmas2k7 pt2


 * This guide is to display the phrases said by the orphans from the Christmas 2k7 event. This is carried over from the Event Guide: Xmas2k7 with the phrases are arranged by personality.

Self

 * I hope my shabby clothes don't offend your delicate sensibilities.
 * I'll never forget your kindness as long as I live.
 * I'm sorry! You must think I'm terribly demanding.
 * I've learned to sleep with my eyes open.
 * Please forgive my rudeness! I seem to have tracked the dust of my poverty all over your nice things.
 * Why do we have to bathe, it takes a lot of time to develop this level of grime.
 * You don't need to waste your time on a wretch like me... I'm sure there are plenty of bright, attractive kids to help instead...
 * You're so nice! I don't deserve all this.

Ms. Cooper

 * I'm glad you're taking care of me. Ms. Cooper spent all our Xmas savings on eggnog.
 * Ms. Cooper says I've developed an acute case of agrizoophobia. What does that mean?
 * Ms. Cooper takes care of us, when she's sober.
 * Ms. Cooper tried to get Mr. Raccoon out of the attic, but when she came back she was a different person. She seemed broken, somehow.

Mr. Raccoon

 * Have you ever seen a raccoon? They look like little burglars!
 * I was scared of Mr. Raccoon until he saved me from that rabid tapir.
 * If the orphanage wasn't so poor, we could get rid of that pesky raccoon! (Oh no, don't tell him I said that!)
 * I used to have a teddy bear, but ever since Mr. Raccoon moved in, I've been afraid of small mammals.
 * Mr. Raccoon always hangs out with Mr. Skunk, but I think he's a bad influence.
 * Mr. Raccoon bit me once, but only because I disrespected him.
 * Mr. Raccoon isn't so bad, if you don't look at him directly in the eyes.
 * Mr. Raccoon lives in the attic. He controls the orphanage from the kitchens to the common areas.
 * One time, Mr. Raccoon and Mr. Skunk cornered me and stole my shoes.
 * Sometimes Mr. Raccoon will just stare at you for hours with his little red eyes.
 * The other orphans pretend that Mr. Raccoon doesn't exist just to get by.
 * You should see Mr. Raccoon's human tooth collection. It's very impressive.

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: Mr. Raccoon is my friend. He sometimes brings us yummy rats! I've got such a craving for them...
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: One day the rats tried to take over the kitchens, but Mr. Raccoon saved us! I sure would like another rat feast like that


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *groan* My tummy is empty. I want fish. Mr. Raccoon brought me a fish once, but he had already eaten all the meat.
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *grumble* So... hungry... At the orphanage, we had fish heads, but Mr. Raccoon would steal them all the time.


 * Glomco Hard Tack: I wish I had some hardtack from the orphanage. We used to have soft cookies, but Mr. Raccoon demanded all the chewy food.
 * Glomco Hard Tack: Mr. Raccoon punished us most dearly when we tried to offer him hardtack. I miss those tooth-breaking biscuits *grumble*


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I was wrong to defend myself when Mr. Raccoon wanted my gruel. I'm still hungry for some.
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: One time Mr. Raccoon fell into the gruel, and we had to throw it out. *grumble* I would still eat it, if I could get some...

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: *cough cough* I'm freezing! I think I've got a bad case of the chills.
 * Warmup Cure: Brrrrrr. I haven't felt this cold since Mr. Raccoon made me give up my blanket. I think I'm sick.


 * Sleepytime Elixir: *yawn* I haven't been able to sleep since Mr. Raccoon stole my blanket. I wish there was something that could help me sleep.
 * Sleepytime Elixir: *yawn* I'm so tired but Mr. Raccoon just stares at me hungrily all night. I need something to help me fall asleep!


 * Bone Tonic:
 * Bone Tonic: My bones hurt... they haven't felt this bad since that time Mr. Raccoon tackled me for poking around his trash.


 * Lung Brush: *cough* *cough* My lungs hurt... like when Mr. Raccoon set that trash can on fire.
 * Lung Brush: *hack* *cough* Owie, I'm having a hard time breathing. It feels like Mr. Raccoon is sitting on my chest again.

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: For once, I'd like to own a sack that isn't hiding a feral raccooon.
 * Burlap Sack: The best toy I ever had was the empty potato sack that Mr. Raccoon looted. We didn't eat, but we had fun. I wish I had one again...


 * Carpet Swatch: We don't have carpet in the orphanage... just once I'd like to play around on some of that stuff.
 * Carpet Swatch: We once had a rug, but Mr. Raccoon decided it'd be his bathroom. I wish I had a rug to play on... even just a little...


 * Cup n Ball: Our 'cup and ball' was more like a 'hat and an apple'. It was still a lot of fun though *sigh*
 * Cup n Ball: We didn't have real toys at the orphanage. We had a cup and ball once, but Mr. Raccoon ate the ball. I really liked that toy...


 * Hoop n Stick: I could entertain myself for hours with a Hoop and Stick, and defend myself against future raccoon attacks!
 * Hoop n Stick: We had a Hoop and Stick at the orphanage. We broke the stick fighting off Mr. Raccoon when he had that bout of rabies...

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I'm starving... usually. Mmm, some meat would be nice...
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: We had meat in the orphanage the same day my rat friends disappeared. Mmm, I could sure go for a feast like that again!


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: I've never had seafood before... unless you count lake boots. I wonder what it's like?
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: Sometimes we'll fish out of the sewer, but all we ever catch is nausea. I've always wanted to try fish.


 * Glomco Hard Tack: Regular cookies are too heavy for my weak orphan stomach. I need a cookie that's hard as a rock so I don't gobble it down...
 * Glomco Hard Tack: Sometimes I get so hungry I'll just chew on a rock. Something like that would be great about now...


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: At the orphanage, we could only eat "Near-Gruel Gruel-like Supplement". I'd like to try the real stuff some day...
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I sure could go for some real gruel..

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: I'm freezing my little orphan fingers off... well, the ones I have left anyway.
 * Warmup Cure: I-I'm s-s-so c-c-cold!


 * Sleepytime Elixir: I'm so tired, but I can't sleep or rats might carry me away! I wish there was some way to get over my fear.
 * Sleepytime Elixir: Uggh, I haven't slept in days... I just can't seem to fall asleep.


 * Bone Tonic: My bones feel hollow... like I'm sort of freaky giant monkey bird.
 * Bone Tonic: Ohhhh... my bones are so brittle right now...


 * Lung Brush: *hack* Ohhh... I think I might have a bad case of flungus... *cough*
 * Lung Brush: *cough* *hack* My lungs hurt...

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: I used to have a burlap sack, but I ated it...
 * Burlap Sack: I've always wanted to be in a potato sack race...


 * Carpet Swatch: I don't have dolls, but once I had piece of carpet named "Swatchworth". Dogs took it from me *frown*
 * Carpet Swatch: I would love some little bit of textile that I could love and hold... maybe a bit of rug or something...


 * Cup n Ball: I once made a Cup-N-Ball out of a hat and an orange, but both of them got eaten...
 * Cup n Ball: Just once, I'd like a toy that wasn't made out of garbage.


 * Hoop n Stick: I once had a Hoop-N-Stick... it was actually more like a Tire-N-Pipe, though. I wonder what the real thing's like...
 * Hoop n Stick: I want to play! I've always wanted a Hoop-N-Stick...

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: It's OK... I can probably find some ratmeal on my own... but I'm so weak from hunger.
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: No, don't trouble yourself getting me any ratmeal... I'm sure you have more important things to do.


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: Fish heads are probably too good for someone so undeserving as me...
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: I hope the groaning of my stomach isn't bothering you... oh, if only I had some fish heads...


 * Glomco Hard Tack: I'd ask for some hardtack, but I wouldn't want to get crumbs all over your nice furniture...
 * Glomco Hard Tack: I'm terribly sorry to inconvenience you, but perhaps you could spare some hardtack for a poor wretched little orphan...


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I hate to be a bother, but do you have any gruel mix to spare?
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: My constant demands must be such a financial hardship for you... I'll try to curb my hunger pangs instead of pestering you for gruel...

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: Can you ever forgive me for my irritating fits of shivering? Oh, please, don't hate me!
 * Warmup Cure: Oh dear, I hope my violent shivering isn't distracting you. If only I had a bit of warming tonic...


 * Sleepytime Elixir: Oh my, please forgive me, I must be a terrible bore. If only I could get some sleep, maybe I'd make better conversation.
 * Sleepytime Elixir: Please, don't mind my nocturnal screaming. I don't wish to burden you with my night terrors...


 * Bone Tonic: I'd never dream of burdening you with my problems... if my bones weren't so terribly soft, I'd gladly carry my own weight.
 * Bone Tonic: Pardon me for disturbing you, but could you possibly spare a bit of bone tonic? My femurs are so frightfully spongy...


 * Lung Brush: *Cough* So sorry for my *cough* constant... *cough* coughing..
 * Lung Brush: I'm so very ashamed of myself for pestering you with my constant hacking and coughing. Curse these dusty lungs!

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: Burlap sacks are a lot of fun, but I really shouldn't ask for such frivolous things...
 * Burlap Sack: I feel so terribly greedy for asking, but could you possibly spare an old burlap sack?


 * Carpet Swatch: How dare I ask for a carpet sample when I can offer you nothing in return except my heartfelt gratitude? I'm such a greedy little monster.
 * Carpet Swatch: I dearly wish I had something soft to play with... but how dare I ask for a new toy when so many less fortunate orphans have nothing but sand and toenail clippings to entertain them?


 * Cup n Ball: Am I a terrible person because I regret giving away my last cup-and-ball game? Oh, don't mind me... I suppose I'm just playing the martyr again...
 * Cup n Ball: Oh, don't bother getting me a cup-and-ball... it's far too expensive. I'll just entertain myself by counting to a billion. One... two... three... four...


 * Hoop n Stick: How I long for a simple toy to play with... something to run around with, perhaps. I'm sorry, it's stupid. I should ask for something practical instead.
 * Hoop n Stick: I used to have a hoop and stick, but it was stolen by thugs... I'm sorry for being so careless. I should have held onto it tighter while they beat me...

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: Did you know that every ounce of ratmeal contains components from over 200 rats? Yow! If that doesn't impress you, nothing can!
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: Even if I were a millionaire, I'd still eat ratmeal every day. I'd fill a swimming pool with it and just dive in... mmm...


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: I'm not a gourmet or anything, but for my money, nothing beats fish heads. Well, if I had any money, that is...
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: You know what's the tastiest part of the fish, by far? You'll totally never guess. I'll give you a hint: it has teeth and eyeballs. I'm hungry just thinking about it.


 * Glomco Hard Tack: Mmm, hardtack! I can't even remember the last time I ate hardtack. Or the last time I ate anything, come to think of it?
 * Glomco Hard Tack: Mmm... hardtack... it's a taste explosion! It's like a party in my mouth and only cardboard and sawdust are invited!


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: You know, call me crazy, but gruel is hands-down my favorite food in the world. Sure, I've only tried four different foods in my life, but I don't think anything will ever beat gruel. I sure could use some gruel...
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: You'd be a FOOL if you didn't love GRUEL. Get it? Do you see what I did there? Are you picking up what I'm laying down?

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: If these chills were any more fun, I'd have to buy a ticket! Whoo! All aboard the COLDERCOASTER!
 * Warmup Cure: Nothing beats a good chill. It's such a rush!


 * Sleepytime Elixir: Look at it this way: the longer you stay up, the more awesome it is when you finally get to sleep. I'm building up to one heck of a sleep jackpot right now.
 * Sleepytime Elixir: Sure, sleep is nice and everything, but staying awake for two weeks at a time is kind of cool too! The hallucinations can be a real laugh.


 * Bone Tonic: Oh man, the doctor said my bones would turn to jelly if I didn't get some bone tonic. That actually sounds kinda AWESOME! I could squeeze under doors and stuff!
 * Bone Tonic: Whoo! Call me crazy, but I kinda love the feeling of intense skeleton pain. It's exhilarating!


 * Lung Brush: My lungs are like the gifts that keep on giving. I never know what I'm gonna cough up next! Yesterday I coughed up an entire charcoal briquette!
 * Lung Brush: The great thing about lungs is that you only really need one of them. Hear that, lefty? Deteriorate all you want, I've got a spare!

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: I know this isn't a very lofty ambition, but someday I hope to own a burlap sack. With careful budgeting and a high-interest finance plan, I think I can make this dream a reality within the decade.
 * Burlap Sack: If mankind ever makes a material more high-tech than burlap, I don't even want to know about it. Plus, burlap sacks make the greatest toys ever. I hope I get to play with one sometime.


 * Carpet Swatch: Carpet swatches are more exciting than any video game. I'm 100% serious about that. I can't get enough.
 * Carpet Swatch: I feel sorry for normal kids, who need fancy store bought toys to have fun. Just give me an old carpet sample and I'm entertained for a week. It's great!


 * Cup n Ball: I'm amazed that civilization didn't just collapse after they invented the cup and ball. It's so much fun, why would anyone ever bother going to work again? Leave me alone with a cup and ball and I'll forget to eat for weeks on end.
 * Cup n Ball: The cup and ball represents the ultimate pinnacle of all human endeavor. I can't believe they don't cost like a million dollars. If you get me one, I promise to never put it down as long as I live.


 * Hoop n Stick: If I had a hoop and stick, I'd pretty much consider myself the richest person who ever lived.
 * Hoop n Stick: If you've never chased a rusty hoop down a cobblestone street with a stick, you've never truly lived. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. They're the most perfect toy ever.

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I like ratmeal, fresh out of the package, still with the flavor dust on it. Oh, to indulge in that crunchy bag of heaven.
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I wouldn't say I like ratmeal, I'd say I love it! Though the lack of ratmeal hinders my love.


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *grumble* I would drool at the thought of some delicious fish heads, but I forgot how to taste.
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *grumble* If I could eat right now, I think I would want some fish heads and ketchup. Lots of ketchup.


 * Glomco Hard Tack:
 * Glomco Hard Tack: I don't know why they call it hardtack. I mean, it's definitely hard... but is it really "tack"? All I know: it's delicious!


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: Gruel isn't the worst thing in the world - it sure beats starvation.
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I have one invisible sandwich left. It'd be peachy keen to have a side of gruel to accompany it.

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: *shiver* I am not just cold, I am shivering with style.
 * Warmup Cure: *shiver* I don't like to think of myself as freezing to death so much as... becoming a still-life.


 * Sleepytime Elixir: *yawn* Eating powdered milk before bedtime doesn't help me fall asleep, I need something better!
 * Sleepytime Elixir: *yawn* Usually I pass out from malnutrition, but tonight I need that little extra.


 * Bone Tonic: I mean, I don't need calcium. I have plenty of deposits on my body. But the more the merrier.
 * Bone Tonic: My bones are brittle and weak... but I like to think of myself as more soft and huggable because of it.


 * Lung Brush:
 * Lung Brush:

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: I had burlap sack once, it was glorious. All itchy and warm like my asbestos underwear. Oh to live those days again...
 * Burlap Sack: I saw the burlap sack advertisement in the paper. They sure look fun. *nudge* *nudge*


 * Carpet Swatch:
 * Carpet Swatch: Surveys say that 9 out of 10 orphans need a swatch of carpet.


 * Cup n Ball:
 * Cup n Ball:


 * Hoop n Stick: Boy oh boy! There's something about today that makes me want to push a hoop around with a stick for no particular reason!
 * Hoop n Stick: I sure wish I had that Hoop and Stick again. Mr. Raccoon ruins all of our toys.

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I bet the rats eat better than us orphans... but if I were to eat the rats, then I would have quite the meal!
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I think I'm going to die from eating too many rats... or not enough... I'm not sure which. Well, only one way to find out!


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *burp* That chipmunk head I ate earlier tasted terrible. I bet some fish would calm my tummy down.
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *gag* I think I'm going to... *gag* No, I'm good... wait... *gag* Ugh... I need some fish to hold down last night's gruel.


 * Glomco Hard Tack: Even some hardtack may not cheer me up this X-mas... but, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.
 * Glomco Hard Tack: My last piece of hardtack was stolen by a rat and nobody wants to share with me *little tear*


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: *blah* That gruel last night was terrible. Hmmm, for some reason I want more of it today...odd
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: *sigh* even just a small bowl of gruel might brighten up my xmas a little...
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: Amazing, the gruel I had yesterday came with little shards of glass! I can only imagine what's in store today!
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I love the gruel here. It's always grey and bland, I can't wait to see what it tastes like today!
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I wonder what would happen if I put poison in the gruel... I have the poison now all I need is some gruel...
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I'm so depressed I don't think I can eat... the only thing I've ever liked was gruel, but I think we ran out of that last week...

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: *achooooo* I hope this cold spreads like the plague to the other orphans.
 * Warmup Cure: I'm so cold, but what's the point in warming myself up with a blanket? I bet I'll still be cold in another 5 minutes.
 * Warmup Cure: I'm so cold. Why don't I just lie here and freeze to death? At least then someone might put a blanket over my rotting corpse.


 * Sleepytime Elixir: *sigh* What's the point of sleeping? I'll just wake up again. If only I had some way to fall asleep without thinking about it.
 * Sleepytime Elixir: *yawn* My insomnia is going to kill me if I don't find a way to fall asleep, and fast...


 * Bone Tonic: I can't believe my bones still hurt after 3 weeks. That's it, I'm a goner... done for... throw in the towel... close the curtain...
 * Bone Tonic: My bones are sore, but it doesn't matter... nobody cares and I'll probably die in a week due to lack of medication. Whatever.


 * Lung Brush:
 * Lung Brush: Oh great - now my lungs hurt and its hard to breathe. What a great way to start the holidays *sigh*

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: I used to cry inside my old burlap sack, but the rats ate through it. Now I have nothing to cry in and I'm so sad.
 * Burlap Sack: Those dang rats ate through my burlap sack, so now I have nothing to use for the big potato sack race next weekend. Winner gets to eat!


 * Carpet Swatch: Santa's sleigh doesn't look big enough to carry carpet. I doubt he has space to deliver something like that. I guess its another year on the concrete.
 * Carpet Swatch: We've never had carpets in the orphanage, I bet we would just ruin it anyways. I doubt carpet would cheer me up *sigh*


 * Cup n Ball: The other kids at the orphanage never let me play with the cup and ball... they said I might hurt myself... bunch of jerks.
 * Cup n Ball: What's the point of putting the ball into the cup? Its just going to come out when you tip the cup. Still... it looks fun for some stupid reason.


 * Hoop n Stick: I've seen other kids playing with a Hoop and Stick. I bet their parents bought it for them... I wish I had parents to buy me a Hoop and Stick *sigh*
 * Hoop n Stick: The Hoop and Stick looks fun, but I'd probably get scratched, then the scratch would get infected, then I'd die.

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: *grumble* Ehnnggg, I haven't eaten much in the last couple of days... *twitch* RATATOUILLE! BAH! GIMME SOMETHING MEATY!
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: *twitch* RATS! EVERYWHERE RATS! GAH!*twitch* They sure are making me hungry!


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *grumble* My stomach is pretty empty. I haven't eaten a full meal in a while. FISHNUGGETS! *twitch* GRAH!
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: *twitch* FISH! *twitch* I'm pretty hungry. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME OUT, HUH?


 * Glomco Hard Tack: *crunch crunch* I'm just a'chewin' on my hand. *twitch* I NEED TO CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH SOMETHING *twitch* Little help?
 * Glomco Hard Tack: Ms. Cooper said I should stop chewin' on things... *twitch* I ONLY BIT HER ONCE *twitch* I just need something crunchy...


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: *twitch* Hey, I'm getting pretty hungry over here. LISTEN TO ME, YOU! GRAH! *twitch* Sorry. I just haven't had any gruel in so long.
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: My teeth hurt from biting everything *twitch* CHOMP CHOMP CHOMPITTY *twitch* I think I need to eat something non-solid...

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: *shiver* I'm s-so cold y-you can't see m-me twitching. *shiver* I THINK I NEED HELP! GRAH!
 * Warmup Cure: *shiver* It feels like I'm *shiver* LOCKED INSIDE A FREEZER GET ME OUT *shiver* Ohhh... I think I'm sick...


 * Sleepytime Elixir: *twitch* I haven't slept in weeks! *twitch* SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S UNHEALTHY! GRAH! *twitch*
 * Sleepytime Elixir: How can you sleep when there's *twitch* SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO DO *twitch*... maybe I do need to sleep...


 * Bone Tonic: My bones feel like someone's been biting them all day long. *twitch* CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP! NUUUU!
 * Bone Tonic: Ugh, I'm sick... *twitch* SICK IN THE BODY! GRAH! *twitch* My bones aches...


 * Lung Brush: *wheeze* I... can... barely... talk... ... lungs... on... fire... *wheeze*
 * Lung Brush: *wheeze* I... need... something... to... help... me... breathe... better... *wheeze*

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: *twitch* Boy oh boy, I wish I had a good burlap sack *twitch* TO BITE INSTEAD OF YOU! GRAH! *twitch*
 * Burlap Sack: One time, the other orphans put me in a sack *twitch* THAT SACK WAS MY BEST FRIEND! GRAH! *twitch* I wish I had another one...


 * Carpet Swatch: *twitch* I like toys I can chew on MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH *twitch* I would love something small and tough to PLAY WITH MUNCH MUNCH
 * Carpet Swatch: The best gift I ever got was a piece of a rug *twitch* IT WAS SO CHEW CHEW CHEWY *twitch* I hope Santa got my list...


 * Cup n Ball: GRAH! *twitch* I hope Santa brings me a toy for Xmas. *twitch* SOMETHING I CAN PLAY BY MYSELF *twitch*
 * Cup n Ball: We had a "cup and ball" once, but a raccoon stole it *twitch* MAMMAL ATTACK! GRAH! *twitch* I miss that toy...


 * Hoop n Stick: *twitch* HOOPA HOOPA HOOPA *twitch* I want a "hoop and stick" to munch on. GIVE IT OR ELSE! GRAH!
 * Hoop n Stick: The other orphans get angry at me for chewing their toys. *twitch* CHEWY HOOP CHEWY STICK MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!

FOOD

 * Boruff's Ratmeal: Did you know Ratt had a hit single in 1984 called "Round and Round"!? I love that band, they remind me of my favorite food...
 * Boruff's Ratmeal: I'm craving some delicious rat meats! Didja know that the ancient Romans called rats Mus Maximus? Didja? Didja? Didja?


 * Bucket o Fish Heads: Heeeeey! Did you know that fish is full of omega-3 fatty acids?! I bet you didn't! I could sure go for some of that.
 * Bucket o Fish Heads: There are over 28,000 species of fish! I bet you didn't know that! I wonder which is the most delicious?


 * Glomco Hard Tack: DID YOU KNOW HARDTACK WAS INVENTED IN 1801?!?! I DID! I think the hardtack we have at Shabby Meadows is from the original batch.
 * Glomco Hard Tack: I bet you didn't know that hardtack is sometimes called "molar breakers"! I know from personal experience that it's true!


 * Powdered Gruel Mix: Gruel is basically a thin porridge, duh! There are some fancy kinds, like Korean Jat-juk, but I'll settle for any kind.
 * Powdered Gruel Mix: I'm hungry for gruel! Maize gruel was once one of the main foods of Mesoamericans, did ya know?! I did!

MEDICINE

 * Warmup Cure: Ah... ah... ah... achooooooooooo! Help, I have acute viral nasopharyngitis. I need something to warm me up!
 * Warmup Cure: It makes my liver hurt, but Dr. Blotto's Warmup Tonic will make my cold feel better.


 * Sleepytime Elixir: *Yawn* I'm sleepy, but I can't fall asleep because these crazy letters keep running through my head: CH3-CH2-O-CH2-CH3
 * Sleepytime Elixir: I can't sleep! I guess I'll read the dictionary again unless you can help.


 * Bone Tonic: Did you know bones can serve to protect internal organs? Mine are feeling kinda soft. Can you help?
 * Bone Tonic: Ow, my posterior intercondyloid fossa... I think I need some of Dr.Thorpe's Bone Tonic


 * Lung Brush: *Cough* My lungs hurt! Did you know that flungus affects 4 out 10 orphans? It's true! *Cough*
 * Lung Brush: I wish I could afford a lung brush. I have a bad case of the bellowgroans, aka old man grunt.

TOYS

 * Burlap Sack: Did you know ghillie suits are often made of burlap? No you didn't! I wish I had some burlap to make a suit out of.
 * Burlap Sack: I prefer to call it "hessian cloth". "Burlap" sounds like the sound I make when I burp.


 * Carpet Swatch: Did you know that carpet is the favorite toy of children everywhere? I just made that up, but I still want to play with some!
 * Carpet Swatch: The earliest carpet was called "pazyryk carpet". I bet that was as fun to play with as it was to say! I wish I could try some...


 * Cup n Ball: Do you know what the world record is for cup and ball? I bet I could beat that if I just had one.
 * Cup n Ball: People have been playing cup and ball for centuries! I wanna try!


 * Hoop n Stick: I could use the stick from the hoop and stick as a pointer for when we play school!
 * Hoop n Stick: The ancient greeks called it "trochos", but no one knows what that is when I ask for one, so now I just say "hoop and stick" instead.